WARNING: This post is all over the place (it's more for me than it is for you, my audience)
My last post which was a long time ago was about living in Casper for almost six months. Now, I have almost been here a year. Six months ago I would have told you that by now I would have gotten into a college in San Diego. I would also have told you how excited I was to move back to California. Time changes everything. I have learned how unpredictable life is. I have also learned that it's best to go with the changes that life throws at you.
As I continue my long journey through life I try to be brave. When you think about it, being brave seems like an easy thing to do. However, I am a very fearful person. I am afraid of the dark, of windows at night, trying new foods, meeting new people, talking in front of a lot of people etc. I have found it extremely challenging to be brave through such a scary time in my life. When I moved to Casper, all I wanted was stability and safety in a new exciting place. Instead, I was thrown into an unstable and frightening environment (in the most boring place on the planet).
Sometimes I feel blessed because life seems to be getting easier and easier with age. I have recently realized that life isn't getting easier, I am actually getting wiser which in turn makes things seem easier. Growing up was hard for me to do. I still find it challenging to try and act mature all the time. I still throw fits sometimes when I don't get my way. I have to sleep with blankets and stuffed animals, and as I mentioned before, I am afraid of the dark. I am so thankful to be twenty years old though. I feel lucky that I still have a mindset that I can do anything or be anyone I want to be. This way of thinking seems to get lost over time, so I am glad to have it while I can.
I have been watching a lot of reality tv lately. When I watch all these shows it's hard not to be jealous of all the things they have. I focus on all the things they have that I don't. Some of these things are material possessions (cars, cell phones, computers, clothes). Other things are not (fame and beauty). I found myself complaining about how I would never be anything like the famous girls on tv. My dearest friend, Emily, reminded me of how fake the people on tv are. Her opinion is that the people on the reality shows have no substance. They may have a lot of things that I don't have, but they don't have a real personality. I think that being famous forces people to become someone that they are not. Fame and fortune sounds so glamorous and wonderful sometimes (especially when you are a VISTA), but I wouldn't trade anything for who I am becoming as I am growing up.
Meg
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
1/2
I know I haven't written in forever (hyperbole meaning: months). It's actually a little awkward to write again, but I will be tough and I feel like sharing some important things in my life:
I am almost halfway done with my VISTA experience in Casper. It's weird to think about, it really feels like I have only been here a month. Time passes very interestingly for me right now. The days are slow. The weeks are fast. The months are slow. The year is fast. Weird how that works, but that describes it pretty well. I am very excited to be moving on to the next chapter of my life soon (it will be here faster than I expect it to). I am also scared about having to plan out the move and trying to find a job again. I am anxious about all the stress I will be going through about the move (it's the worst to have anxiety about stress that has yet to come). I know that I will be sad to leave though. I have come very far in these few months and I hope to grow at a fast rate for the second half.
I realized something interesting the other day...I don't hate Wyoming. I complain about Wyoming all the time. It's something constant, every time I have an opportunity to say something horrible about Wyoming, I take it. I think I have gotten caught up in my reputation to hate it here. People around me (at work and home) expect me to hate it, so I keep on hating it. I was in the car the other day and thought about how pretty it is here. Everything is turning green (finally) and there is barely any snow left on the mountain. I actually found myself excited to spend my summer here, which really really surprised me. I compare Wyoming to California all the time, and honestly it isn't fair. No, it's not better here than California and it never will be. That's okay though, there is so much to experience here that I never will in California. I need to start looking at every day as an exciting adventure. I think my change of attitude will help the way I live my life for the second half of the year.
At work today, I was asked to write a mission statement for a meeting we have coming up in a week. This is what I came up with, and I am very proud of it. I hope I can live up to it.
"I will seek knowledge. Learning is how you grow and if you aren't growing, you aren't living.
I will create things. I can create anything with my imagination and I will use it every day.
I will be thankful. There are millions of things around me that I am not thankful enough for.
I will not fear everything. If I fear everything in my life, it will take away from my experience.
I will never forget where I am going and where I have been. This will only make me stronger.
I will love. I will love when things are good or bad. When I am happy or sad. When I laugh or cry. I will keep loving until the day I die."
I have started making monthly goals for myself that are reviewed at the end of every month. Today was the first time to read over the goals to see what I have accomplished and what I still need to work on. I was actually excited to see the progress I made in a month. I did a lot better than I thought I would have. It truly is amazing what you can accomplish in a month.
Things I accomplished:
-To only eat one frozen meal a week (a.k.a. chicken nuggets). I managed to go a whole month without eating any frozen food.
-To exercise every day. Getting my bike greatly helped with this one.
-To be more productive and procrastinate less.
-To only buy things on my grocery list.
-To cook more often. I did the best at this one, I have been cooking something almost every day.
-To watch less tv. I was doing really well at this, until I started watching Grey's Anatomy. I still see it as an accomplishment though because I am watching less.
-Leave my door open at home and at work. I tend to shut people off by shutting my door when it doesn't need to be shut and I shut my door less often now.
My new goals (which include goals I didn't accomplish):
-Work on building good relationships with the people I work with (much harder than I thought it would be).
-Get my jump rope program to run smoothly.
-Exercise every day. This is an ongoing goal, and that is why it's on the list again.
-Ride my bike to work more often, hopefully every day.
-Be able to work without people giving me lists and things to do.
-Read every day.
-Talk on the phone less.
-Create one art piece every month.
-Spend more time outside of my room when I am at home.
-Give 110% with everything I do.
-Get things done.
-Finish what I start.
-Ask for help.
-Discover things.
So, those are my goals for this month and I really hope to do well and keep up with them. I have them posted in my office, so I will see them every day.
This was kind of a long post, but it had been a while. I say this all the time, but hopefully I will be writing more often. I get caught up in other things. It is nice to stop and write though. I do enjoy it.
Much love,
Meg
I am almost halfway done with my VISTA experience in Casper. It's weird to think about, it really feels like I have only been here a month. Time passes very interestingly for me right now. The days are slow. The weeks are fast. The months are slow. The year is fast. Weird how that works, but that describes it pretty well. I am very excited to be moving on to the next chapter of my life soon (it will be here faster than I expect it to). I am also scared about having to plan out the move and trying to find a job again. I am anxious about all the stress I will be going through about the move (it's the worst to have anxiety about stress that has yet to come). I know that I will be sad to leave though. I have come very far in these few months and I hope to grow at a fast rate for the second half.
I realized something interesting the other day...I don't hate Wyoming. I complain about Wyoming all the time. It's something constant, every time I have an opportunity to say something horrible about Wyoming, I take it. I think I have gotten caught up in my reputation to hate it here. People around me (at work and home) expect me to hate it, so I keep on hating it. I was in the car the other day and thought about how pretty it is here. Everything is turning green (finally) and there is barely any snow left on the mountain. I actually found myself excited to spend my summer here, which really really surprised me. I compare Wyoming to California all the time, and honestly it isn't fair. No, it's not better here than California and it never will be. That's okay though, there is so much to experience here that I never will in California. I need to start looking at every day as an exciting adventure. I think my change of attitude will help the way I live my life for the second half of the year.
At work today, I was asked to write a mission statement for a meeting we have coming up in a week. This is what I came up with, and I am very proud of it. I hope I can live up to it.
"I will seek knowledge. Learning is how you grow and if you aren't growing, you aren't living.
I will create things. I can create anything with my imagination and I will use it every day.
I will be thankful. There are millions of things around me that I am not thankful enough for.
I will not fear everything. If I fear everything in my life, it will take away from my experience.
I will never forget where I am going and where I have been. This will only make me stronger.
I will love. I will love when things are good or bad. When I am happy or sad. When I laugh or cry. I will keep loving until the day I die."
I have started making monthly goals for myself that are reviewed at the end of every month. Today was the first time to read over the goals to see what I have accomplished and what I still need to work on. I was actually excited to see the progress I made in a month. I did a lot better than I thought I would have. It truly is amazing what you can accomplish in a month.
Things I accomplished:
-To only eat one frozen meal a week (a.k.a. chicken nuggets). I managed to go a whole month without eating any frozen food.
-To exercise every day. Getting my bike greatly helped with this one.
-To be more productive and procrastinate less.
-To only buy things on my grocery list.
-To cook more often. I did the best at this one, I have been cooking something almost every day.
-To watch less tv. I was doing really well at this, until I started watching Grey's Anatomy. I still see it as an accomplishment though because I am watching less.
-Leave my door open at home and at work. I tend to shut people off by shutting my door when it doesn't need to be shut and I shut my door less often now.
My new goals (which include goals I didn't accomplish):
-Work on building good relationships with the people I work with (much harder than I thought it would be).
-Get my jump rope program to run smoothly.
-Exercise every day. This is an ongoing goal, and that is why it's on the list again.
-Ride my bike to work more often, hopefully every day.
-Be able to work without people giving me lists and things to do.
-Read every day.
-Talk on the phone less.
-Create one art piece every month.
-Spend more time outside of my room when I am at home.
-Give 110% with everything I do.
-Get things done.
-Finish what I start.
-Ask for help.
-Discover things.
So, those are my goals for this month and I really hope to do well and keep up with them. I have them posted in my office, so I will see them every day.
This was kind of a long post, but it had been a while. I say this all the time, but hopefully I will be writing more often. I get caught up in other things. It is nice to stop and write though. I do enjoy it.
Much love,
Meg
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Spring Break
This is the first spring break that I remember it snowing the whole week. It was really pretty outside today though and felt "warm" to us. Haley and I rolled down the windows on the ride home from work.
Work has been going really well for the most part. I have been spending time with the teenagers, and I have begun to have good relationships with some of them. I love that I get to "play" sometimes while I am at work.
Haley and I made a Lego masterpiece the other day that we were really proud of.
I have been learning how to enter donor data into our program on the computer. I get really frustrated with it sometimes, but luckily I can just listen to music while I work and it keeps me going.
Today felt like a Friday and I really wish it was one. I am really looking forward to Oakley visiting, so I wish the weeks went by a little faster. I have really been getting used to the cold and it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I find myself leaving the house with short sleeves and a jacket on, and I haven't been getting cold.
I am going through a stage where I really miss California. I try to stay really positive, but it is not always easy. I realize that the thing that I love most about California is my family. Not the ocean, or the cool people, or even the atmosphere. The happy feeling I felt when I was little and visited family in California came from the family, not from visiting Sea World or Disney Land. I think it's important that I realize how important family is to me.
"Home is wherever I'm with you."
I'm really trying to write more often, and I am hoping to get more pictures of Casper up soon!
Thank you for reading!
Much love,
Meg
Monday, February 14, 2011
Things you learn when you live in Casper, Wyoming
I have lived in Casper for about a month now, and there are some things that I have learned. (things you can't learn in California.)
1. I now really understand what it means to be cold. The other day I was talking to Oakley and he claimed that he knew what it was like to be cold because he grew up in northern California. This was one of the funniest things I have ever heard. Last time I checked, California wasn't that cold (even up north).
2. I know what it is like to live in "the middle of nowhere". I can get in a car and drive for ten minutes, and you are in an open field where you can see for miles.
3. I think I understand why people choose to live in such small towns, there is something nice about it. It's not small enough that everyone knows everybody, but they can tell that I'm not from around here.
4. It's not acceptable to wear an Obama shirt. They have guns, and they know how to use them.
5. Wearing layers is extremely important if you want to stay warm.
6. Don't go outside with wet hair.
7. Don't sled in the dark.
8. Being outside in the cold is a lot like being in the ocean. When you first get in the ocean there is a initial shock of how cold it is. Then you warm up and it doesn't bother you for a while, but when you start to get cold again it's time to get out. That's how being outside here is. It seems really cold at first. You get used to it and warm up. When you get cold again, go inside.
9. Culture shock is very real, and you can experience it even when you move just a few states over.
10. Cowboys are surprisingly cute when you have no other options.
Thanks for reading!
I just got internet, so there should be posts from me more often!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Meg
1. I now really understand what it means to be cold. The other day I was talking to Oakley and he claimed that he knew what it was like to be cold because he grew up in northern California. This was one of the funniest things I have ever heard. Last time I checked, California wasn't that cold (even up north).
2. I know what it is like to live in "the middle of nowhere". I can get in a car and drive for ten minutes, and you are in an open field where you can see for miles.
3. I think I understand why people choose to live in such small towns, there is something nice about it. It's not small enough that everyone knows everybody, but they can tell that I'm not from around here.
4. It's not acceptable to wear an Obama shirt. They have guns, and they know how to use them.
5. Wearing layers is extremely important if you want to stay warm.
6. Don't go outside with wet hair.
7. Don't sled in the dark.
8. Being outside in the cold is a lot like being in the ocean. When you first get in the ocean there is a initial shock of how cold it is. Then you warm up and it doesn't bother you for a while, but when you start to get cold again it's time to get out. That's how being outside here is. It seems really cold at first. You get used to it and warm up. When you get cold again, go inside.
9. Culture shock is very real, and you can experience it even when you move just a few states over.
10. Cowboys are surprisingly cute when you have no other options.
Thanks for reading!
I just got internet, so there should be posts from me more often!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Meg
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
"Depression is just anger without enthusiasm"
I have recently started some very good habits to help me get through this year:
Exercise every single day (so far, so good!)
Read at least a chapter of a book every day (not doing so well on this one, but I'm working on it)
Eating at least three meals a day (I'm doing so well on this one)
Those are my goals so far, I feel very happy about everything right now. I am very proud of myself and what I am doing. The challenge that I am taking on this year is a big one. It will take a lot of commitment, courage, and strength. I often have second thoughts about what I'm taking on, but I know it will be more than worth it in the end.
I have started reading "The Catcher in the Rye" and I would like to share one of the quotes that stood out to me the other day.
"When I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse."
When I first read that quote it was a few days after I had left San Diego. I really felt nothing after I moved, I felt horrible. I really thought that I should feel something. I love California, I just wanted to care that I had left. Now that I'm back in California in LA, I feel sad. I am happy that I'm finally feeling something. It makes me feel a little bit more human. I will greatly miss California, but it was very good that I left. I will finally find out who I am, not who people make me become. I will be my own person, and I will be supporting myself. I am excited to see the person I grow into over this next year.
Meg
Exercise every single day (so far, so good!)
Read at least a chapter of a book every day (not doing so well on this one, but I'm working on it)
Eating at least three meals a day (I'm doing so well on this one)
Those are my goals so far, I feel very happy about everything right now. I am very proud of myself and what I am doing. The challenge that I am taking on this year is a big one. It will take a lot of commitment, courage, and strength. I often have second thoughts about what I'm taking on, but I know it will be more than worth it in the end.
I have started reading "The Catcher in the Rye" and I would like to share one of the quotes that stood out to me the other day.
"When I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse."
When I first read that quote it was a few days after I had left San Diego. I really felt nothing after I moved, I felt horrible. I really thought that I should feel something. I love California, I just wanted to care that I had left. Now that I'm back in California in LA, I feel sad. I am happy that I'm finally feeling something. It makes me feel a little bit more human. I will greatly miss California, but it was very good that I left. I will finally find out who I am, not who people make me become. I will be my own person, and I will be supporting myself. I am excited to see the person I grow into over this next year.
Meg
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The week so far..
I have successfully moved to Casper, Wyoming and so far I'm loving it! The snow is great, and I love my roommates.
Saturday
I woke up at 4:00am to catch a flight out of San Diego to Salt Lake City. I arrived in Casper around 12:30. It was so cold that day, but little did I know how much colder it could get here! On Saturday I got to explore the town a little, and was more than happy to find out that we have a movie theater here for $2.50!
Sunday
On Sunday, I did absolutely nothing exciting at all. I now understand how teenagers in small towns get into so much trouble. I had never been this bored in my life!
Monday
Monday was a holiday, so there wasn't much to do. Haley (roommate) and I took a nice walk downtown though (it's only 10 blocks away!). Then after we did a lot of nothing.
Tuesday
On Tuesday we visited the Boys and Girls club where Haley and I will both be working. Everyone was super nice there, and I am so so SO excited to start working! Megan arrived in Casper later that afternoon, and we are both rooming downstairs in the basement. I love it, it's the "Megan Floor".
Wednesday
Erin got here on Wednesday and she will be rooming upstairs with Haley. We signed our lease, and it felt like I was signing my life away, but oddly it felt good. Megan and I went out to Wal Mart and picked up a few sleds. The kind of sleds that are disk shaped and go super fast. We have a sledding hill near our house, so I was SO ready to go sledding! When we got to the sledding hill, there were snowboarders going down it. It's a pretty steep hill! It was rough walking up it, but it was so worth it! I had so much fun sledding, and I was so happy!
Today!
Today we are at the Library right now, and trying to get library cards. Then we are going to go apply for food stamps. I am hoping to go sledding again today. I just wish I had snow pants! Well, that's all I have to talk about right now. We are getting internet soon, and that will make it easier to post more often!
Keep in touch.
Megan
Saturday
I woke up at 4:00am to catch a flight out of San Diego to Salt Lake City. I arrived in Casper around 12:30. It was so cold that day, but little did I know how much colder it could get here! On Saturday I got to explore the town a little, and was more than happy to find out that we have a movie theater here for $2.50!
Sunday
On Sunday, I did absolutely nothing exciting at all. I now understand how teenagers in small towns get into so much trouble. I had never been this bored in my life!
Monday
Monday was a holiday, so there wasn't much to do. Haley (roommate) and I took a nice walk downtown though (it's only 10 blocks away!). Then after we did a lot of nothing.
Tuesday
On Tuesday we visited the Boys and Girls club where Haley and I will both be working. Everyone was super nice there, and I am so so SO excited to start working! Megan arrived in Casper later that afternoon, and we are both rooming downstairs in the basement. I love it, it's the "Megan Floor".
Wednesday
Erin got here on Wednesday and she will be rooming upstairs with Haley. We signed our lease, and it felt like I was signing my life away, but oddly it felt good. Megan and I went out to Wal Mart and picked up a few sleds. The kind of sleds that are disk shaped and go super fast. We have a sledding hill near our house, so I was SO ready to go sledding! When we got to the sledding hill, there were snowboarders going down it. It's a pretty steep hill! It was rough walking up it, but it was so worth it! I had so much fun sledding, and I was so happy!
Today!
Today we are at the Library right now, and trying to get library cards. Then we are going to go apply for food stamps. I am hoping to go sledding again today. I just wish I had snow pants! Well, that's all I have to talk about right now. We are getting internet soon, and that will make it easier to post more often!
Keep in touch.
Megan
Monday, January 10, 2011
Moving Away
Yesterday was a good day. It was my last Sunday in San Diego for a while. I feel very blessed that I was able to find such a great church home for the 10 months that I have lived here. For some time I had been feeling like I didn't really meet a whole lot of people in San Diego. I felt like when I moved it wouldn't be a big deal because no one really knew me. I was wrong.
Last night I had my going away party and I realized how many people here really care about me. The party was so much fun, and I never thought I would say that about a party. Growing up I remember feeling uncomfortable even at my own birthday parties. I was never very good at interacting with a large group of people. Thanks to my Aunt and Uncle's LOVE for throwing parties, I have now learned how to "work the room". This is an accomplishment that I am very proud about.
There are probably a lot more things, but I can't think of them at the moment. I am very proud of myself and all that I have accomplished this year. I think moving to California was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Now it is time for me to move on though. At 4:45am on Saturday morning I will be leaving the comforts of my home to start the next chapter of my life. I have been waiting my whole life for an opportunity like this, and I can't believe it's actually happening. I will miss the easy life I have here, but I am more than ready for a challenge.
My goal this year: staying in Wyoming the whole year.
Last night I had my going away party and I realized how many people here really care about me. The party was so much fun, and I never thought I would say that about a party. Growing up I remember feeling uncomfortable even at my own birthday parties. I was never very good at interacting with a large group of people. Thanks to my Aunt and Uncle's LOVE for throwing parties, I have now learned how to "work the room". This is an accomplishment that I am very proud about.
I thought it would be good for me to share some of the many things that I have accomplished in this past year:
-learning to drive (it was a big deal for me)
-trying sushi (I didn't end up liking it, but I tried it!)
-learning to cook and bake (I can make incredible waffles)
-being a surfer (one of the most amazing experiences ever)
-living in California (one of my goals in life, accomplished at 18)
-watching every episode ever made of The Office (best TV show ever!)
-not always asking what was in the food that was prepared for me (it's harder than it sounds)
-learning how to paint (ask to see my painted vans next time you see me)
-making new friends even if they are way older than me (example: David, Jason, Jenn, Oakley)
-learning to let go of the past (it's hard, but it can be done)
-learning what all goes into a catering business (more than you would think)
There are probably a lot more things, but I can't think of them at the moment. I am very proud of myself and all that I have accomplished this year. I think moving to California was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Now it is time for me to move on though. At 4:45am on Saturday morning I will be leaving the comforts of my home to start the next chapter of my life. I have been waiting my whole life for an opportunity like this, and I can't believe it's actually happening. I will miss the easy life I have here, but I am more than ready for a challenge.
My goal this year: staying in Wyoming the whole year.
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